


the proof is in the way it hurts

by mitigates



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: A Lot Of Cheating, Anal Sex, Angst, Bathroom Sex, Bottom Sugawara Koushi, Break Up, Cheating, Daichis pov at the end, Getting Back Together, Hate Sex, Infidelity, M/M, Mentioned sakuatsu, Power Bottom Sugawara Koushi, Rough Sex, SakuAtsu, Suga cheating on Daichi, Top Oikawa Tooru, daichi is only mentioned, daisuga - Freeform, obvious cheating, oisuga, open ended happy ending, sorry daichi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:00:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26433028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mitigates/pseuds/mitigates
Summary: “No, I’m leaving now-”“Really?” Oikawa tilted his head, taking a couple of steps back. He waved his hand dramatically toward the door. “By all means, Koushi.”Suga glared up at the taller man, the wrath of every single one of his ancestors behind the scowl. “Fucking fuck- I can fucking walk just fucking fine. Fucking Tooru.” Suga pushed himself to his feet and immediately stumbled into Oikawa’s outstretched arms. “I hate you.”
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Sugawara Koushi, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 30
Kudos: 261





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> the infidelity fic that nobody asked for. this will be like 3 chapters or so.
> 
> title from: i'm not the only one - sam smith

“We are not fucking doing this-”

“We are.”

“No, I think the fuck not-”

“Koushi, shut the fuck up, I'm literally inside of you.”

“Don’t fucking remind me, Tooru!”

Sugawara’s next words morphed into a long groan as Oikawa stopped playing nice and slammed into him, he gripped the back of Suga’s neck and pushed his face into the mattress. Suga’s back arched in the most delicious way, the curve of his ass rising in the air to meet Oikawa’s thrusts. 

“Fucking- faster, Tooru- fuck!”

Oikawa grunted and gripped Suga’s hips harshly, knowing his delicate milky white skin would be bruised before they were even done. He scratched down Suga’s bare back roughly, earning low pitched moans from the ashen-haired man. Oikawa snapped his hips against Suga, the only sound in the room was that of their combined moans and Oikawa’s balls hitting Suga’s ass over and over. Oikawa readjusted his position, spreading Suga’s legs wider as he pulled out and pounded back into the slimmer male. Oikawa felt Suga jerk back against him as his cock brushed Suga’s prostate. He angled his hips and hit the same bundle of nerves again and again until Suga’s moans turned high pitched and he was drooling on Oikawa’s favorite pillow. Oikawa didn’t want Suga being able to walk when they were done, he wanted him compliant and broken and unable to regret what they were doing for the umpteenth time. 

Oikawa slid his hand into Suga’s hair and yanked his head back so he could watch his face twist and his emotions lay bare as Oikawa pushed him closed to his orgasm. Suga’s eyes were squeezed shut.

“Look at me-” Oikawa pulled harder on Suga’s hair.

Suga’s eyes snapped open, flashing with lust and fury. “Fuck. You.” Suga whispered the words, unable to goad anything louder from his throat. “Fuck you, fuck you- fuck- _fuuuuuuck_ right there, right there!”

Oikawa smirked as he relentlessly hammered into Suga, his cock brushing Suga’s prostate repeatedly until Suga’s body went limp. Suga came against the sheets, spurting cum all over the cotton as he started shaking violently. Oikawa continued until Suga was whimpering from the overstimulation. Oikawa wrapped an arm around Suga’s waist and pulled his body back. He palmed Suga’s soft cock as he thrust hard and deep. Suga was sobbing and pulling away from Oikawa, his mouth unable to form the necessary words.

Oikawa’s body took the hint and he came hard, panting heavily against Suga’s reddened back as he collapsed against him.

“You- fuck. Dammit, Tooru. You always- get off me, fuck.” Suga wheezed underneath Oikawa.

Oikawa snorted and rolled off of him, landing on his back beside Suga’s shaking form. “Fuck you, Koushi. You’re the one who said not to wear the condom.”

“Why would you listen to me?! It’s not like it’s something you do regularly. If it wasn’t we wouldn’t be in the fucking position- God, just shut up-” Suga sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He tried to lift himself to his feet but it proved impossible. “Fucking help me.”

Oikawa rolled onto his side, turning his back to Suga. “Nah. I’m sleepy-” Oikawa yelped as Suga jabbed his fingers into Oikawa’s side.

“Help me, you piece of shit!” 

Oikawa moved off of the bed and stood in front of Suga. He leaned over and gripped Suga’s jaw with both hands, his fingertips digging into Suga’s neck.

“Don’t you fucking dare-”

Oikawa crashed his mouth into Suga’s and as much as he might protest, Suga’s body didn’t. Suga opened his mouth and kissed Oikawa back fervently, his tongue sliding against Oikawa’s teeth. Suga pulled Oikawa in with one hand and pushed him back with the other.

When Oikawa finally pulled back, Suga jabbed him again.

“Stop, Suga-chan! That hurts!” Oikawa whined as he rubbed his side.

Suga scoffed. “You’re getting hard again, you fucking masochist.”

Oikawa glanced down at his dick that was now half-hard. “Would ya look at that? I impress myself sometimes.”

“You’re so fucking annoying.”

“Mmhm, so you’ve said. I’m going to draw you a bath.”

“I’m leaving.”

“After your bath, fine.”

“No, I’m leaving now-”

“Really?” Oikawa tilted his head, taking a couple of steps back. He waved his hand dramatically toward the door. “By all means, Koushi.”

Suga glared up at the taller man, the wrath of every single one of his ancestors behind the scowl. “Fucking fuck- I can fucking walk just fucking fine. Fucking Tooru.” Suga pushed himself to his feet and immediately stumbled into Oikawa’s outstretched arms. “I hate you.”

“So you’ve said.” Oikawa helped Suga back onto the bed. Suga groaned as his ass hit the sheets. “I’ll come get you when it’s ready. You need to rest up, what would Dai-”

“Do not say his name.” Suga growled, throwing his forearm over his eyes.

Oikawa might have done too much but he always did when it came to Suga. He lit Suga’s favorite candles that dwindled down to a quarter of the amount of wax they started with. He tossed in a galaxy bath bomb, one they both loved. It filled the tub with bright glittering colors and the most magnificent smell. He dimmed the lights and went back for Suga.

Suga was softly snorting when Oikawa found him again. 

“Koushi, get up-”

Suga grunted softly and shook his head. “Fuck off.”

“You have cum drying on your ass, Koushi, get up.”

He groaned again and reluctantly sat up. “Carry me.” Suga was whining but Oikawa found it incredibly endearing, albeit slightly needy. 

Oikawa did as he was told and hooked his arm underneath Suga’s knees, his other hand supporting Suga’s head. He carried Suga into the bathroom and stepped into the tub. He started to set Suga down when he heard that familiar needy mewl. 

“You’re staying, right?”

“Of course I am, Koushi.” Oikawa whispered into Suga’s hair, pressing his lips against Suga’s temple. “It’s my bath bomb, anyway.”

Suga huffed out a humorless laugh and sunk into the water with Oikawa, leaning back against his firm chest. Oikawa slid one of his knees up and looped an arm around Suga’s torso. He soaked a washcloth in the simmering soapy water and dragged it across Suga’s neck, down his chest and across his stomach. The aftercare was almost Oikawa’s favorite part. It held a high second best to the actual sin that he and Suga could get into. Suga relaxed fully against him, sighing contentedly.

“Are we going to talk about this?” Oikawa asked minutes later, breaking the serene silence that was only disturbed by the occasional water drop from the faucet.

“No.” Suga answered as easily as all the other times Oikawa had asked.

“Alright then.” Oikawa responded, the same as he had countless times before.

Koushi Sugawara was not a single man. His significant other also was not the one using a steaming washcloth to wipe cum off of his limp dick. His significant other was not the one carding his fingers through Suga’s hair and lightly kissing the back of his head where he pulled Suga’s hair too hard.

Oikawa had a distinct feeling Suga wasn’t single the first time and he definitely knew Suga wasn’t single the many times that they found each other after. Oikawa couldn’t help but think of the first night that he saw Suga after so many years apart. They were friendly in high school, they went to the same college but had different majors and never really saw each other. Oikawa had just finished a wonderful night of karaoke with his new college friends when he spotted Suga drinking alone in the corner of the bar. He admired the silver-haired man from afar, drinking in how he had matured since they had actually last spoken in high school. His cheekbones were high, his hair a bit longer and a lot softer. His face matured, losing the softness of teenage years but keeping the spark that he always had inside of him.

Oikawa approached him to catch up for a moment but ended up staying when he realized Suga had been crying. His eyes were red-rimmed as he smiled up at Oikawa in greeting.

“Oikawa, it’s been so long.” Suga’s voice was soft and sweet, exactly how Oikawa remembered it, but somehow deeper than before.

“Please Suga-chan, call me Tooru.”

Suga smiled softly. “Koushi then.”

“Koushi… Can I buy you a drink?” Oikawa motioned to the bartender who gave them each another glass of cheap whiskey. 

They talked for a couple of hours before stumbling out of the bar. Suga couldn’t coherently get out his address and Oikawa’s place was only a block away so they wobbled back to his place. They passed out together in Oikawa’s bed simply because Oikawa’s couch was full of unpacked boxes as a result of his recent move. 

Suga woke up around 4 am and realized he wasn’t at home with his boyfriend. He was in bed with another man, still slightly drunk from the night before. Suga glanced over at Oikawa and noted that they were both still wearing all of their clothes. Suga reached into his pocket for his phone and his eyes started welling up again when he didn’t have a single missed call or text from Daichi. They had gotten into a fight, a big fight, that they each ended up walking out on. It wasn’t a relationship ending type fight but Daichi didn’t even try to contact him? It was 4 am and Daichi wasn’t even curious as to where Suga was? That hurt more than Suga would care to admit. He sniffled softly and shoved his phone back into his pocket.

“You okay?” 

Suga looked over at Oikawa, smiling softly at his sleep laden voice and blinking eyes. Suga nodded unconvincingly. Suga fought against his better instincts and reached across the bed. His hand settled gracefully on Oikawa’s cheek and he stroked the soft skin with his thumb.

“Thank you, Tooru.”

Oikawa smiled in response, yawning and scooting slightly closer. 

That night, they kissed.

Suga running into Oikawa after he and Daichi had a fight turned into a regular thing. Their fights weren’t always bad, they just both had tempers and butted heads, leaving before either of them said something they regretted. Suga wondered what Daichi did when he disappeared, he wondered if Daichi thought about what he was doing as well. When Daichi’s overbearing parents came to town and laughed in Suga’s face after he brought up the idea of them possibly marrying one day, Suga had enough. That was the first full weekend that he and Daichi spent apart since they had started dating in high school. 

Suga spent that weekend in Oikawa’s bed.

Suga couldn’t look at Daichi when he finally went back home. Somewhere along the line, he stopped caring as much. He was less shameful about it, half-assing the makeup he applied to his neck. Daichi never mentioned the marks that looked suspiciously like hickies, he never even gave them a second glance. It made Suga wonder if Daichi was spending the night in someone else’s bed as well. It also made him wonder why they bothered staying together.

At some point, he convinced himself that he hated Oikawa. Granted, he did that convincing while he was being pounded into Oikawa’s couch until he could barely remember the date, but still. It was valid. (Except that it wasn’t and the only person Suga was hating was himself).

He wondered if Oikawa had someone but it didn’t seem like it. He made himself available whenever Suga needed it, going so far as to pick Suga up from his and Daichi’s apartment one night when Suga was crying over something that most people probably wouldn’t even be fighting about. It was like they fought as an excuse to get the other one out of the house. Suga left so easily each time and Daichi let him go.

Suga blinked back into existence as a shiver wracked his body.

Oikawa lightly kissed his shoulder. “We should get out, the water isn’t even warm anymore.”

Suga nodded absentmindedly, leaning forward so Oikawa could get up first. Oikawa pulled a plush robe out of the small bathroom closet. He draped it over Suga’s shoulders and pulled one around himself.

“Tea?”

Suga nodded again, wrapping the robe tightly around his battered body. He was going to be feeling that for days. He followed Oikawa into the kitchen and watched the taller man turn on his electric kettle, pulling Suga’s favorite tea out of a cupboard. 

Oikawa set the mug in front of Suga and watched him slip into the despair that had started to become commonplace after they had sex. He didn’t understand why Suga kept coming over if it was just going to put him in such a foul mood. He didn’t want to mentioned it because the sex was just _so good_ but it felt morally wrong not to.

“You should go home.” Oikawa finally said, lifting his cup.

“I know.” Suga hadn’t touched his tea, he was busy staring at the wall.

“You probably shouldn’t come back.”

Suga tore his eyes from the wall and blinked at Oikawa. “I know.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For months on end I've had my doubts  
> Denying every tear  
> I wish this would be over now  
> But I know that I still need you here

Oikawa took another sip of his lukewarm tea. He tapped his fingers against the wooden table. Suga had left his apartment days before and Oikawa hadn’t heard from him since. They usually spoke on a daily basis but once something inside Suga snapped and he decided that he hated Oikawa. Previously, he had only messaged the brown-haired man when he wanted to go over. Oikawa found himself not waiting for a text, the last time they saw each other had a sense of finality to it. Suga kissed him and Suga never initiated anything other than sucking Oikawa off.

He didn’t understand why it hurt so damn much.

Oikawa sighed as he realized he was probably going to have to find some real friends. Maybe a real boyfriend too because fuck...he was lonely.

Oikawa didn’t see Suga for a few months. He fell back into a steady groove of hanging out with his old friends, meeting them for a weekly night of karaoke and the occasional drink. He had a few one night stands that he kicked out before they could fall asleep, he found himself bottoming more than he would have normally liked and chalked that up to his lack of self-esteem. He was drinking too often but not drinking too much, thankfully. His friends helped keep him in check.

* * *

He eventually heard from Suga when he got a call at his catering company to cater a wedding.

“Iwaizumi’s Catering, how can I assist you today?”

“Oh, hi! I have a wedding that needs to be catered. My friend said you did their wedding and it was lovely- oh, so sorry, I’m-”

“Koushi.” Oikawa breathed the name as he leaned back against one of the kitchen’s many counters.

“Tooru?” Suga sounded as dumbfounded as Oikawa felt.

“Hey, Are you well?”

“Um- yes, yeah, sure. Yeah-” Oikawa laughed softly. “Sorry, God, I’m so much more eloquent than this.”

“I believe you.”

“I had no idea you were working with Iwaizumi.” Suga’s voice was soft and subtle, reminiscent of better nights and bitter goodbyes.

Oikawa nodded to himself. “We have been working together for a couple of months now. We partnered up and started this awesome little company. It’s been going great. Who k recommended us? We’ve done 6 weddings just this month.”

Suga smiled proudly. “Oh, it was uh- Kiyoko and Tanaka, or Shimizu and Ryuu, I suppose I should say now.”

“So uh, a wedding?” Tooru couldn’t help the slightest amount of disappointment that he hoped he was hiding in the higher pitch of his voice. He couldn’t help it. He didn’t want to know that Suga stayed with Daichi after _everything_. He couldn’t bear to admit to himself that he just wanted Suga to come back to him. It was far too hard.

“Yeah. It’s in 3 weeks.” Suga replied with ease, not noticing the shift in Oikawa’s tone.

Oikawa huffed. “3 weeks, Suga? And you’re just now getting around to it?”

“We had another caterer all lined up but they cancelled this morning! This isn’t my fault!” Suga’s voice morphed into the higher pitched whine Oikawa was painfully familiar with.

Oikawa chuckled. “I know. It couldn’t possibly be, I know you’re much more organized than that. Well- let me know what you’re looking for.” 

They went through the ins and outs of the wedding, finding a menu to match Suga’s theme. They exchanged simple pleasantries but no ‘I miss you’s’ or anything similar. They hung up before getting too emotionally invested in the reunion.

* * *

They kept their conversations casual and light, only speaking when they needed to. Tooru didn’t ask about Koushi and Daichi’s relationship, and Koushi didn’t bring it up.

* * *

They met a few days later to go through a tasting menu Iwaizumi and Oikawa had put together. Iwaizumi excused himself to prepare a catering order, leaving Suga and Oikawa alone to go through the majority of the menu. 

“Oh this- this is new. You’ll love this. We have these super cute crane shaped plates that they’ll go on, cranes are good luck, you know? This is salmon with cheese, fried bread with shrimp paste, salmon and squid sushi, a kelp roll with boiled herring, boiled shrimp with egg yolk, and boiled kelp with fish roe. They’re all- ugh, so good.” Oikawa prided himself on the selection of food he prepared specifically for each wedding that they catered. He went out of his way with Suga’s, as he was so used to doing for the other man.

Suga giggled and reached for the sushi first. He sighed as he tasted it, going for the kelp roll next. “Incredible, Tooru! Holy fuck, these are so good!”

Oikawa grinned widely, resting his chin on the palm of his hand. “Right? Here- try this next. This is Kinki, it’s a beautiful tasting fish. There’s a sauteed yuzu alongside pickled ginger. The fish is glazed with sweet miso, a special recipe of my own creation.” Oikawa pushed the tiny plate toward Suga who devoured the dish.

“God- fuck- wow!” Suga lightly closed his eyes and Oikawa was unfortunately struck with visions of Suga blushing, sweating, and groaning underneath him as he said those exact words 

He shook his head of the vision and pointed toward other plates. “Banquet style is a lot of fun, I thought you might enjoy that. We have steamed egg custard with vegetables, red miso, the omelet with rice and shrimp. We have boiled dishes as well. I love the vegetables. We put taro, shiitake mushroom, green peas, and carrot with pumpkin- it’s _divine_.”

Suga continued tasting, groaning a bit more than necessary, and laughing more than he had since the last time he had a good night with Oikawa. He tilted his head slightly as he watched Oikawa explain all of the delicate flavor notes that each dish held as well as the significance behind the dishes that the different foods were elegantly displayed on. 

“Oh, Tooru. I-”

Iwaizumi’s return interrupted words that Oikawa was thankful he wouldn’t get to hear. He stood slightly and plastered a smile on his face as he greeted his best friend “Iwa-chan! They’re all approved! Banquet style it is.”

Iwaizumi’s eyes were narrowed slightly at the look of defeat on Suga’s face and the nasty fake smile on Oikawa’s. “Good.” His voice was gruff as he didn’t know what else to say. He also didn’t want to leave Oikawa alone any longer with the man Iwaizumi was sure had been messing with his best friend to the point that he repeatedly lied to him about stupid insignificant things like why he wasn’t available and weeknights.

Suga sighed quietly, the moment gone. He stood as well and clapped his hands together softly. “This all looks great. I have a menu designed already and if you could email me the names of everything, I can put it all together.” Suga reached for Oikawa’s arm to grab his attention. 

Iwaizumi cleared his throat and watched Suga’s hand fall between the two of them. “I’ll send them over right away, I came up with all the names anyway.”

Suga forced a smile and accepted his answer. “That sounds lovely. Thank you, Iwaizumi.”

Oikawa took that moment to realize Suga wasn’t wearing a ring and he wondered if it was for his benefit. 

* * *

Weeks later, Oikawa was putting the finishing touches on the hor d'oeuvres when he felt an all-knowing presence at his side. He tried to shoo the man away. “Go away, Iwa-chan.”

“Aren’t you done yet?” Iwaizumi grumbled, staring down at the platters and platters of finger food.

“I _am_ done! This just needed a little more- there. It’s done. It can start going out.” Oikawa grinned at his business partner and danced excitedly. “This wedding is better than anything we’ve done so far! Bless Suga-chan and his husband!”

Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Bless who?”

Oikawa didn’t get a chance to answer before the waiters filed in to take the trays to the guests. Oikawa made his way toward the dining room to make sure everything was going smoothly. He immediately spotted that beautiful silver-haired man careening around the room. Oikawa felt a small smile make its way across his face as Suga chatted happily and animatedly to guests enjoying the food. Oikawa was ready to make his way out when Suga caught his eye. There was a flicker of something in Suga’s eyes that Oikawa wanted to reach out and grab on to but he stepped away.

He wandered the massive house until he found the privacy of an upstairs bathroom. 

Oikawa splashed cold water onto his face and dried it with a luxurious towel. He snorted as he placed it back on the towel rack, wondering about the exuberant cost of it. He heard the door opening and turned to announce his presence. His words died in his throat.

“Tooru.” 

Oikawa leaned against the sink, crossing his arms. “Koushi.” He hated the soft smile that crossed his face anytime he was in Suga’s presence. It was a smile of things that had been long since lost and let go of, Oikawa was never sure if it was done willingly or not.

Suga stepped closer to Oikawa until the tips of their shoes touched. “I miss you.”

Oikawa’s arms fell to his sides and he realized that his loneliness wasn’t a normal missing another person, he was missing Suga. He sighed softly and shook his head. “No, Koushi, you really shouldn’t-”

“I do.” Suga’s fingertips molded against Oikawa’s cheek, his thumb idly tracing patterns into Oikawa’s skin. “I really do.”

Oikawa knew he should have stopped Suga but he just didn’t have it in him to do so. Suga melted against him and Oikawa tightly wrapped his arms around Suga, pulling him flush against his chest. Suga’s tongue pushed past Oikawa’s lips as his fingers started unbuttoning the light blue dress shirt. “Oikaw- Tooru, please-”

Oikawa gave up, reached down and lifted Suga by his thighs, slamming him into the wall behind them. Suga groaned into Oikawa’s mouth, letting his lewd sounds be swallowed by the swipe of a tongue. Suga fumbled with the zipper on Oikawa’s pants and Oikawa did the same as he stuck his hand beneath Suga’s boxers, gripping his throbbing cock. 

Suga groaned into Oikawa’s ear as Oikawa stroked him. Suga did the same for Oikawa, pushing their pants down to the knee. Their cock’s rubbed together, each of their hands encasing the other’s erection. They groaned and kissed and rubbed each other until they both came embarrassingly quickly. 

“Fuck- this shirt is ruined.” Suga snorted as he glanced down at Oikawa’s shirt. “I have one you can borrow.”

Oikawa looked at the floor between them, nodding.

“Hey-” Suga tilted Oikawa’s head up. “I’m supposed to be the one who gets like that.”

“Why won’t you just leave him, Koushi? Why are you still with him?” Oikawa couldn’t help but ask the questions he had been wondering for so long.

Suga’s face fell immediately. “Tooru-”

“No, I just- I don’t want to hear any more excuses. This was a bad idea.” Oikawa deftly buttoned his jeans and the bottom of his shirt, making quick work of the developing stain. “This really wasn’t what I came here for.”

Suga reached for Oikawa, but Oikawa snatched his arm away. “Tooru, let me just-”

“No, Suga- God, is it even Sugawara anymore? Just- fuck. No. I’m sorry.” Oikawa left Suga standing in the middle of the bathroom, unable to process what had just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those reading and commenting for you kind words. I've never really written anything like this before so it's nice to see so many are enjoying it. Hopefully this chapter goes over good as well!  
> I'm thinking 1 more chapter. Maybe a SakuAtsu one shot (you'll see our favorite bleached-blonde in this chapter) or maybe something from Daichi's POV though I'm not sure I want to include him yet. Thanks again.  
> __  
> Join our lovely Fanfiction Corner Discord <3  
> https://discord.gg/n7cnCR4


	3. Chapter 3

Oikawa passed off the rest of the responsibilities to Iwaizumi and went home. He had no intention of getting into anything even remotely familiar, let alone sexual, with Suga and he was mentally punching himself for it. He shouldn’t have let that happen.

At first, it was just a crush that Oikawa had in high school slowly clawing its way to fruition. When he realized that Suga had been dating his high school sweetheart on and off, he felt like shit. It took a few missed calls and meetings with Suga to come to terms with what they were doing. Daichi and Suga were on and off. Oikawa didn’t realize until a year into his and Suga’s fucking that Suga was in fact not only coming to Oikawa when they were ‘off’. He was coming to Oikawa anytime they had some sort of simple disagreement. Suga didn’t talk about it so technically Oikawa could never know for sure but he knew. Deep down, he knew. Somewhere along the lines of really, really,  _ really _ good sex and soft kisses afterward, Oikawa stopped thinking about Daichi and only thought about Suga. It was probably why Oikawa had been single for so long, making himself available whenever Suga needed him.

What he didn’t understand was how Daichi didn’t know what was going on. He’d sent Suga home more than a few times with a limp, hand prints on his ass, and bruising hickey's littering his chest and thighs. It didn’t make sense why Daichi would stick around but Oikawa knew absolutely nothing about the nature of their relationship. He didn’t want to know.

He realized, much later than he cared to admit, that he just wanted Suga.

* * *

Oikawa’s phone vibrated incessantly the entire ride home. He tossed it onto his coffee table and went straight to take a long steaming shower. He scrubbed his skin red and raw until tears pricked at his eyes. He felt like shit and he probably should because he was a fucking homewrecker. He had no business getting involved in Suga’s relationship the first time let alone the countless times after. He buried his face in his pillow and tried not to start sobbing for at least three hours. He was successful for about 20 minutes.

* * *

A couple of months and a very late afternoon-ish nap later, Oikawa was rudely woken up by the sound of unabating knocking at his door. He cursed the Gods for making his hearing so sensitive. He pulled his glasses on and stumbled over his dropped jacket to reach the knob.

Oikawa groaned. “Oh God, what do you want?”

“Tha’s no way to treat ya favorite neighbor.” Atsumu pushed his way past Oikawa and flopped onto his couch. “Omi-kun is studying, I don’ wanna disturb him anymore.”

“Anymore than you already do?” 

“For one, fuck you. Two, I don’t disturb him all the time, ya rude fuckin’ jerk. Three, I need to talk to ya about somethin’.”

Oikawa sat on the opposite end of the couch, leaning his chin on his palm. He stared at the blank TV screen. “Yes?”

“That weddin’ ya did a little while back, the grooms were really happy with what ya did. I wanted the same thing.” 

“For what?” Oikawa had long since pushed Suga’s wedding out of his head.

“For my weddin’.”

“For your  _ what _ ?”

Oikawa glanced at Atsumu who appeared as serious as ever. “I’m gonna ask Omi ta marry me and I know he’s gonna say yes, so I’m jus’ plannin’ ahead.”

“You’re proposing?” Oikawa couldn’t help the high pitched squeal of excitement.

Atsumu grinned in response. “Yeah.”

“What made you decide to? What happened? Tell me everything! Holy fuck, Atsumu Miya is going to get MARRIED?!” 

Atsumu laughed and leaned into the couch. “Ya know, it wasn’t jus’ one thing. It was everythin’. I was watchin’ him workin’ on his dissertation the other day and he was so fuckin’ frustrated. He was mumblin’ to himself and scratching down notes and he jus’...” Atsumu had a small adoring smile spread across his face. “He looked so beautiful, ya know? He looked over at me and asked if I could order somethin’ to eat but I already had and the way his face lit up- I jus’... Fuck, I jus’ love him  _ so much _ . I hafta marry him before he realizes how much better than me he really is. I jus’- Fuck, Tooru, stop crying ya baby!”

Oikawa didn’t even realize tears were slipping down his cheeks until Atsumu pointed it out. He was smiling but he was crying and Atsumu looked horrified. “Sorry, sorry- ah, that’s beautiful. I didn't know you had it in you. Of course we will cater your wedding.”

“Great! Did you ever get the name of that wedding planner?”

Oikawa thought back and realized the only thing he knew about the wedding was that Suga got married and what his last good orgasm was like. “Can’t say I do.”

“Really? Ya seemed pretty chummy.” Atsumu turned toward Oikawa to better study his face.

“With the wedding planner?” Oikawa asked with raised eyebrows. 

“Yeah, I thought you two were talkin’ before you disappeared.”

Oikawa frowned. “I don’t think so. What did he look like?”

“Uh, pretty guys, silver hair, mole under his eye-”

“Koushi? What?”

“Yeah! Koushi Sugawara. Great weddin’ planner, man. He helped with the Tanaka wedding too-”

“He isn’t- what? He’s not a wedding planner. He got  _ married _ .”

Atsumu stared back in response. “When?”

“That was his wedding!” Oikawa responded in exasperation.

“No, it wasn’t.”

“Yes, it was!”

“No, it really wasn’t.”

“Whose wedding was it?”

“Ya don’t know whose wedding you catered ya fuckin’ dummy?” Oikawa shoved his shoulder and squawked. “You really are dumb.”

“He’s the WEDDING PLANNER?” Oikawa screeched. “I thought he got MARRIED, Atsumu!”

“What does it matter if he got married anyway?” Atsumu slowly realized what he had suspected for quite some time at that point. “He’s  _ the _ guy?”

“What do you mean ‘the guy’? There is no ‘the guy’.” Oikawa muttered.

“Oh, shut the fuck up, there’s been a guy for a long ass time now. When’s the las’ time you went on an actual date?” Oikawa couldn’t even think of the last time he laughed at a joke another guy told. “Tha’s what I thought. Fuckin’ dummy.”

“Stop calling me dumb!” Oikawa whined, burying his face in his hands.

“Wha’s wrong with him? Why aren’t you together?”

“Don’t you remember me freaking out four minutes ago that he got married? He has a man.”

“You sure about that?”

“Pretty sure. He’s done a few other weddings that I’ve been to and he’s never mentioned someone.”

“Oh believe me, that doesn’t mean there isn't someone. I learned that the hard way with him.”

“Why don’t you jus’ ask?”

“Because I spent the last few months thinking he got married after we jacked each other off in the bathroom during his wedding.” Oikawa finally admitted out loud.

Atsumu gave a pathetic attempt at stifling a snort. “Damn, Oikawa.”

Oikawa groaned and threw his head back. “I need to move on.”

“Do ya?”

“Probably. Maybe. I don’t know. I love him.”

“You  _ love _ him?”

“Yes.” Oikawa whined into his hands.

“You’re so fuckin’ dumb.” Atsumu burst into laughter. He stood up and moved toward Oikawa’s front door. “Look- I don’ condone what ya did. It’s fucked up ta’ interfere with people’s lives like that but if I’m right, and whether or not you admit it I know I am, you two have been doin’ whatever it was you were doin’ for quite some time. Ya kept comin’ back to each other. Maybe you should check if he’s single now, and if he is- give it a real chance and not once that ya have to keep a secret.”

“When did you become so knowledgeable and smart, doling out advice like you’re not the lovestruck Atsumu Miya I used to know?”

Atsumu laughed and beamed back at Oikawa. “When I fell in love and my whole world got knocked off of its axis. Made me a changed man.” 

Oikawa cried again after Atsumu left.

* * *

Oikawa thought about calling Suga. He really did think about it. He thought about it as he planned their most elaborate menu yet for the ‘SakuAtsu’ wedding of the century as Atsumu had so eloquently dubbed it. He thought about it as he catered small work parties, he thought about it as the holiday’s rolled around, he thought about it as he avoided blind dates his friends tried to send him on (feigning a stomach flu so many times that they thought he had stomach cancer or something else awful going on health wise). 

Oikawa continued thinking about it as the first snow started sticking to the ground. He leaned out his open window and let the icy air whip his hair around. He felt the snow sticking to his eyelashes and he laughed softly to himself, blinking away the cold flakes. Oikawa leaned back in his heated seat and stared at the movie screen being projected across the parking lot. It was probably a dumb idea going to a drive-in theatre alone. Drive-in’s always seemed like such an intimate date idea that he wanted someone to take him out on. It was old fashioned and fun and his favorite thing to do, especially when they played older movies on a rare Wednesday evening. He finished his hot chocolate and sighed. He pulled his coat tight, settled his beanie over his fluffy hair, and decided to brave the cold for another cup of the steaming sweet drink. 

“Hi! Can I get-”

“ _ Another _ hot chocolate?” The cashier grinned at him, batting her eyelashes playfully.

Oikawa’s blush wasn’t just from the weather as he laughed good naturedly. “I know, I know. I should really bring my own or something.”

“And let us miss out on that face? I think not!” She winked at him and went to make him another cup. She set the hot drink on the counter a minute later. “You couldn’t do us like that, Oikawa!”

He laughed again and bowed his head in thanks. He turned to leave and nearly ran into another person as they were heading in.

“Oh, shit, sorry- oh, fuck.”

“That’s quite a greeting, Oikawa.” Daichi said with a snort. 

“Sorry, sorry, you just surprised me.” Oikawa shifted uncomfortably and cursed his past self repeatedly in his head.

“No worries. I guess I didn’t expect more.” Daichi glanced over Oikawa’s shoulder. “You’re here alone?”

“Yeah uh, I like the black and whites they play on Wednesdays.” Oikawa didn’t have the nerve to ask if Daichi was there alone. He didn’t want to know.

Daichi nodded in agreement. “We do too.”

Oikawa tried to keep his face passive. “Cool!”  _ Cool? _ “I’ll let you get back to it.” Oikawa lowered his head slightly as he moved past Daichi. He couldn’t help but turn when he was far enough away. Daichi was holding hands with someone tall, a bit taller than Oikawa himself, with wild dark hair. All Oikawa saw was that it was someone that  _ wasn’t  _ Suga.

Oikawa finally reached his car and reached for the door handle. He forgot he had locked it. He patted his pockets down to remember where he put his keys. As his luck would have it, his keys were sitting on the driver seat. 

“Fuck!” Oikawa exclaimed louder than he meant to. He set his drink on top of his car and prayed that he had at least grabbed his phone. He did but as he reached deep into his winter coat to reach for it, his hot chocolate decided it would much rather run down his windshield. In grabbing it, Oikawa touched the burning liquid  _ instead _ of the Styrofoam cup and was now digging his fingers into a fresh pile of snow.

“Fucking fuck fuckity fuck fucker fuck!” Oikawa blinked back tears of pure frustration.

He heard a quiet chuckle behind him and stiffened at the laugh he heard in his dreams. He didn’t want to turn, he didn’t need to turn. Oikawa ignored it and iced his fingertips.

“Lock your keys inside?” His soft voice carried and melted over Suga like the snow was doing beneath his heated fingertips.

Oikawa sighed and stood up, shaking the snow from his hands. “Yeah.” He counted to ten and turned around. If Suga was beautiful before then he was downright ethereal in the snow, the soft glow of the movie screen light illuminating half of his face. He was glowing and Oikawa’s heart jumped right into his throat.

“Can I help?”

“Did you become a locksmith recently?” Oikawa bit the words out and he really didn’t mean to. He took a deep breath and released his nerves into the air in a thick puff of hot air. “I-”

“It’s fine.” Suga was smiling, just barely, but Oikawa had seen enough of his different kinds of smiles to know that it was there and it wasn’t forced, it wasn’t out of pity, it was genuinely sad.

“What are you doing here?” Oikawa asked as he shoved his hands into his pockets in a desperate attempt to warm them.

“Uh-” Suga awkwardly pointed at the screen. “Movie?”

“No- I mean-” Oikawa looked in the direction of the snack bar. “ _ He’s _ here.”

Suga bit his lip slightly and followed Oikawa’s eyes. “Yeah. We all came to see a movie.”

“ _ We _ ?” Oikawa asked, not sure if he wanted to know what the fuck was going on.

Suga nodded. “Yeah, Daichi and his boyfriend Tetsuro. His friend Akaashi came too.”

“Ah. Akaashi.” Oikawa repeated the name, not liking how it made his mouth taste.

Suga hesitantly stepped closer to Oikawa, gauging if the taller man was going to retreat or not. When he didn’t, Suga spoke again. “Akaashi’s husband was a client of mine. He couldn’t come tonight so he asked if I’d hang out with him-”

“You’re what- friends with Daichi?” Oikawa was staring at the sky now, his voice not carrying past the gray-haired man in front of him.

“Yeah.”

“ _ How _ ?” Oikawa desperately hated the way that his voice broke.

“Daichi is a much better person than I am.”

Oikawa snorted in disbelief. “What does that make me?”

Suga frowned deeply, his eyebrows scrunched together. “You have always been a better person than me, Tooru.” Suga was whispering and somehow, he was hurting at least as much as Oikawa. Oikawa lowered his gaze and Suga’s heart broke at the streaks painting his soft features. “Hey-”

“How can you help?” 

Suga tilted his head in confusion. “What do- oh, the car?”

Tooru nodded and Suga deflated. He motioned toward his car. “Coat hanger. I’ve been there too many times to not know how to do it professionally.” Suga reached into the trunk and Oikawa’s door was open seconds later.

Oikawa looked up to thank him but his gaze went past Suga, landing on Daichi and Kuroo coming back from the snack bar. Daichi’s eyes were locked on his and Tooru wondered how much Daichi knew. He wondered who broke up with who, he wondered if it was because of the cheating, because of Oikawa specifically, or because of something else, he wondered-

“I can  _ hear _ you thinking.” Suga meant it as a joke but tears started welling up in Oikawa’s eyes again and all Suga wanted to do was comfort him.

But that wouldn’t be fair to anybody.

“I’m sorry- I have to go.” Oikawa slipped inside of his car and sunk into the leather.

Suga reached for the door before Oikawa could close it. “Wait- please, wait. Tooru. Don’t run from me again. Please don’t run from me- Please. Not again.”

Suga was begging and Oikawa didn’t know what to do. He sat in his car and stared up at Suga, trying to stop himself from crying at the goddamn drive-in.

“Can we talk? Tomorrow? Please?”

Oikawa glanced back at Daichi who was watching them from the other car. He looked back at Suga. “Koushi, I don’t know-”

“Please.” Suga beseeched again. “Please.”

Oikawa exhaled slowly as he nodded. “Tomorrow.”

“Can I come to you-”

“No.” Oikawa didn’t want Suga gracing an apartment that he just recently rid his smell from. “No, not my place. I’ll uh- I’ll text you. Are you free all day?”

“I can be. For you. I can be.” Suga pushed Oikawa’s door shut and went back to the other car. 

Oikawa couldn’t bear to tear his eyes away from Suga’s retreating figure, as beautiful as the first day they met. He locked eyes with Daichi again, his face unreadable. Daichi said something to Suga as he got into the car. Suga glanced back at Oikawa and gave him the smallest of smiles. The smallest of genuine smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll write a chapter from Daichi's POV. There's some things to explain.  
> Also I'm not used to writing Atsumu with an accent so bear with me, heh.  
> Thank you all for reading :))  
> ____  
> Join our lovely Fanfiction Corner Discord <3  
> https://discord.gg/n7cnCR4


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daichi's point of view.

Daichi watched something once. He couldn’t remember if it was a movie or TV show.

Oh! Grey’s Anatomy. It was Grey’s Anatomy.

The doctors stared at this woman when she addressed her husband's mistress and she stared back just as incredulously and said “Of course I know. The wife always knows.”

Daichi wasn’t a wife, they weren’t married or even engaged, but of course he  _ knew _ . He had always known. It was impossible not to notice the way he glowed when he came home after their first fight. Daichi was ready to apologize and spend a weekend making it up to him but he came back refreshed, more refreshed than Daichi had seen him since probably high school. He was fucking glowing and smiling and laughing and joking, the things Daichi hadn’t seen him do in so long. Too long.

Daichi knew they had been drifting apart for some time. He also knew that he wasn’t doing a damn thing to stop it. It was willfully letting it happen. It didn’t hurt anymore. Seeing Suga leave concealer laying around, concealer that he had never used before, didn’t hurt. Seeing Suga run out of concealer and not buy a new one didn’t hurt. Seeing the actual marks on his neck, barely hidden by his collar, that didn’t hurt either. He really should have just let Suga go.

+++++++++

“We’re doing this again?” Suga asked with a scoff.

Daichi laughed humorlessly and threw his hands in the air. “Apparently we are.” Of course they were fighting within 6 minutes of Daichi getting home from work. He wasn’t even sure what they were fighting about this time. Maybe Daichi was late? That’d be odd, he was off early for the first time in months. Maybe Daichi didn’t do something he said he was going to? Ah, that would be even more odd since he stopped volunteering to do things even longer ago.

Suga was always angry about something. It’s like he sat around all day trying to think of  _ something _ he could pick a fight about.  _ Something _ that Daichi did wrong.  _ Something _ that had gone wrong because of Daichi. Something.

“Are you even fucking listening to me?” Suga’s glare could cut diamonds.

“No. No, I’m really not.” Daichi answered honestly. He stood from his spot on the couch that he had only been occupying for a few minutes. He stuffed his keys back into his pocket and pulled his jacket back on.

“Where are you going?”

“I don’t know, Koushi, but literally anywhere but here sounds fucking great right now.” Daichi turned toward Suga. He didn’t know what he was waiting for. Suga wasn’t going to apologize. Daichi wasn’t going to apologize. There wasn’t even going to be a whisper of regret about what they’d said that night. Why would there be? They were both done trying.

“Whatever. Just go.” Suga was already tapping at his phone.

+++++++++

Kuroo opened his door with a wistful expression. “Sawamura. Come on it.”

Daichi trudged into the room, flinging his duffel bag back over his shoulder. “Don’t call me Sawamura, Tetsurou.”

Kuroo laughed and closed the door. Daichi showing up at his apartment at all hours of the day had become such a regular habit that Kuroo had started stashing Daichi’s favorite brand of beer in his fridge and keeping a bag of his favorite Dorito’s on hand.

Kuroo reached into the cupboard and pulled out a half empty bag of chips. He tossed them to Daichi who was pulling a beer out of the fridge. Kuroo leaned back against the counter as he watched Daichi twist off the cap to the beer and spin it against the granite. Daichi was facing the wall but Kuroo could see how tense his shoulders were. Daichi never talked about why he was always showing up randomly but Kuroo was a good enough guesser to know that it had something to do with Suga. Actually, it very obviously had to do with Suga. Kuroo figured as much when he spotted Suga browsing the makeup section at a Target a few months prior. He was asking the saleswoman which color matched his skin tone best. Kuroo was about to greet him when he overheard Suga mentioning needed to learn how to cover up all the “sex marks” he had received the night before.

Kuroo short circuited for a moment as he remembered Daichi had been at his apartment that entire weekend. Suga hadn’t come over so was he lying or was he cheating? Kuroo soon realized he was cheating. That much was obvious.

Kuroo didn’t mention it to Daichi. He had wanted to so many times but he just couldn’t bring himself to. Now, he was faced with Daichi trying to pretend he wasn’t sobbing on the other side of the kitchen.

Kuroo sighed softly at the sight of his best-friend and high school crush. He sighed to release building tension that was sprouting from the anger boiling in his chest. He wasn’t going to last much longer. “Daichi-”

Daichi hiccuped and laughed, downing his beer in one long swallow. He wiped his eyes before turning back to Kuroo, plastering a smile on. “Sorry, man. Rough day.”

“You’re aware that he’s cheating on you, right?” That wasn’t how Kuroo wanted to ask him but it was definitely how it came out.

Daichi laughed humorlessly, a small smile making its way to his mouth. “I am.”

“Why don’t you  _ leave him _ , Daichi? Why are you still putting yourself through this shit? How long has it been going on? Months? Years?” Kuroo crossed his arms.

“Months, I think. Or well, I have known for months. I don’t know how long it’s been-”

“Why won’t you leave him then?” Kuroo repeated.

Daichi shrugged. “It’s easier not to, I guess. The lease is in both of our names. The car. That one loan we took out together to pay for-”

“Are you fucking kidding me? You’re not leaving him over finances? Are we pretending that you aren’t financially stable all on your own? For fucks sake, I know plenty of finance guys that can help you out of any of that.” Kuroo snapped, losing his patience.

Daichi seemed to not be faltering. “I love him.”

“Do you? Or are you just so used to being with him that you expect yourself to love him?”

Daichi didn’t have an answer for that. He shrugged again.

Kuroo was in front of Daichi then, wiping away a stray tear that the shorter man didn’t realize had fallen. “Damn, Daichi.”

Daichi stared up at Kuroo and couldn’t help but wonder if things had been different had Kuroo confessed to him sooner. Suga and Daichi had  _ just _ started dating, the news not yet reaching the public, when Kuroo confessed his feelings. Daichi would never admit it to Suga but he felt like a relationship was just the next obvious step between the two of them. They had been friends forever, best friends even, and it just kind of evolved into a relationship. Daichi had almost given up on Suga when he met Kuroo their last year of high school. Then, Suga confessed.

Daichi threw himself at Kuroo, slid his hands into Kuroo’s hair and pulled his face down.

“Wait-wait. Daichi- fuck, wait.” Kuroo leaned the upper half of his body back, doing everything his body desperately did not want him to do. Kuroo cupped Daichi’s face in his hands and pressed his forehead against the man trying his damndest to kiss him. “Not like this.”

Daichi’s resolve fell and then his masterfully built defense fell and he sobbed into Kuroo’s sweater.

+++++++++

The first time Daichi noticed the marks on Suga, they were light scratched on the back of his neck. Suga never seemed interested in anything rough before so Daichi hadn’t once marked him. They were sleeping, Suga facing the wall as he had started to do, and Daichi nuzzled his face against the back of Suga’s neck. He chalked up the marks as self-inflicted light scratches. He continued doing that until he caught Suga changing his boxers and spotted purple bruises on his inner thigh. 

Daichi remembered running to Suga worriedly and asking what happened.

Suga laughed it off and said things got a little too intense at work and his leg got caught in a chair or something, Daichi couldn’t remember his exact excuse. All he remembered was how rehearsed it sounded later. They had sex in the shower that night and Daichi couldn’t help but think that Suga seemed bored of it. Bored of him.

Months later, after Suga stopped using makeup to cover up the marks and stopped making excuses when Daichi looked at them twice, Daichi decided he might as well do something. Suga was planning their high school friends' wedding, Ryu and Kiyoko, when Daichi sat across from him wordlessly. He watched Suga type and scroll through his phone then go back to his computer. It took a solid 15 minutes before Suga looked up and acknowledged Daichi’s presence.

“What’s up, Dai?” Suga only looked up for a moment before going back to the wedding.

“How’s that going?”

“The wedding?” Daichi nodded. “It’s going well. Kiyoko isn’t super interested in the whole planning aspect but Ryu has surprisingly been involved in every step. We just locked down our caterer. It’s been smooth sailing.”

“Great. That’s great.” Daichi didn’t hear a word Suga said. He was staring at something behind Suga, something he wasn’t even sure he was actually paying attention to. “Do you want to get married?”

Suga paused his typing and looked up, a tight smile on his face. “Is that a proposal?”

Daichi scoffed. “No. It’s not a proposal.”

Suga raised his eyebrows slightly. “One day, sure, I’d like to get married.”

“To me?”

Suga tapped his pen against his notepad. “Daichi, what’s-”

“Do you love him?” Daichi finally asked, his gaze meeting Suga’s confused one.

“Love wh-” Suga’s voice faded with the realization of Daichi’s question. “What are you-”

“It’s a yes or no question, Suga. Do you love him? Or don’t you?” Daichi leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand. He drummed his fingers against his cheek and tried to stay as tranquil as possible as he watched the last pieces of his relationship shatter. Suga opened his mouth to answer, but no words came out. Daichi leaned back, scoffing again as he stared at the table. “We’ve been friends our entire lives. We’ve been in a relationship for the better part of our ‘best years of our lives’ and somefuckinghow you chose to lie to me over and over and over again. I don’t get it- I mean, if it wasn’t working, why didn’t you just leave?”

Suga closed his laptop and took his glasses off. “Why didn’t you?”

Daichi narrowed his eyes. “This isn’t about me.”

“Isn’t it? Why didn’t you leave? How long have you known?”

“The more I think about that question, the more I realize that I’ve known since it started. I think I can pinpoint the exact moment that you decided to say fuck it to this relationship.” Daichi leaned forward again, tapping the table lightly. “You remember that reunion we went to? We had dinner with my parents after and my dad kept dismissing the idea of us getting married.”

“Yes. I remember.” Suga didn’t dwell on any memory involving Daichi’s parents. 

“We got into that big fight-”

“You were mad because I called your mom an overbearing bitch.” Suga recalled.

Daichi snorted. “Yeah. I was. I was mad because my mom told me that I wasn’t good enough for you.”

Suga could only blink in response. “What?”

Daichi nodded, still staring at the table. “Yeah, our whole relationship all she ever did was talk about how pretty you would look on your wedding day. How nice it was to see you graduate with honors. How hard it must be for you to be stuck with him and  _ by choice _ ? She couldn’t ever handle that.”

Suga shook his head in disbelief. “What? Daichi, what? You’ve never-”

“Why would I tell you any of that? I wanted to save the shreds of dignity that I had left and not tell my boyfriend that my parents preferred him over me.” 

“I- I don’t- but you- We got into a fight that night because you were  _ defending _ them. You kept going on and on about how they’re your parents and they know what’s best and you- you- you-” Suga’s eyes watered as he realized how wrong he had been during the fight that sent him running into Oikawa’s arms. Suga gasped softly. “You meant they knew what was best because of how they felt about me.”

“Yeah, something like that. You didn’t stick around to hear me out.” Daichi responded bitterly.

“I’m so sorry-”

Daichi held up a hand, denying Suga’s apology. He finally looked back up at Suga and tried to be at peace with his decision. “I know you don’t feel for me what we used to. You probably still tell yourself that you love me and sure, you might, but not like you used to. You can’t do what you’ve been doing to someone that you love. You just can’t.” Suga didn’t respond because he knew Daichi was right.

Daichi reached across the table, palm up. Suga hesitantly took his hand. “What you did- what you’re still doing- is fucked up beyond belief and I didn’t think I could hurt as bad as I do everytime you come home smelling like him. Somewhere along the line, it stopped hurting. I’m going to do what we should have done so long ago and let you go. I’m letting this go.”

Suga was outright sobbing and Daichi couldn’t find it in himself to feel bad about it because Suga deserved so much worse but at the same time, Daichi knew he would always love Suga. They could be friends. Daichi could forgive it. It would take time, but they could be friends. Things were fine between them when they were friends, it wasn’t until they started dating that everything changed.

Suga’s lip quivered as he cried and a year ago, Daichi would have wiped his tears and comforted him until he had a genuine smile across his face. Instead, he stood and let go of Suga’s hand.

“I’m moving out. Tonight. I’m going to stay with a friend. You should stay here. I can get myself off of the lease, I already spoke to someone about it.” Daichi disregarded the shocked look on Suga’s face and turned toward Suga’s bedroom, the same bedroom that hadn’t been his in so long. He pulled out the duffel bag he had been lugging back and forth from Kuroo’s apartment and stuffed it with the same necessities as always, just a few more clothes. Suga was still sitting at the kitchen table rubbing his hands together like he did when he was anxious.

There wasn’t a sappy goodbye, there weren’t any more tears, there wasn’t a last kiss. 

Daichi nodded and he left.

+++++++++

Kuroo wasn’t surprised when Daichi showed up at his apartment, his duffel bag looking larger than usual. He leaned against the doorway and crossed his arms. “Saw-”

“Don’t you dare.” Daichi stepped closer, pressing his chest against Kuroo’s. He looked up at him. “Can I stay with you?”

Kuroo let out a heavy exhale through his nose. “For the night or what? I had plans this weekend.”

“For a while. Forever, maybe. If you’ll have me.”

Kuroo’s eyes flashed, a mixture of relief and pure elation. “Fucking finally.” Kuroo yanked Daichi inside, his arms tightly wrapping around him.

+++++++++

Daichi was slightly confused when he spotted Oikawa at the drive-in.

For the longest time he didn’t know who Suga was with. He was suspicious of quite a few different people but every single one of those guesses was wrong. He hadn’t seen Oikawa in years, he wasn’t even a blip on his radar of suspicion. He saw them together at a wedding Suga planned and the way Oikawa looked when he left Suga alone in that bathroom, Daichi knew. 

He didn’t plan to talk to him at the drive-in, it was pure chance that Oikawa turned around and nearly ran into him. He still didn’t know what to say to him.

Oikawa looked just as shocked to see Daichi, so Daichi was at least slightly aloof that Oikawa seemed to feel guilty. Daichi purposefully said  _ we _ when he described who he was at the movies with to show that he had moved on, but judging by the look on Oikawa’s face, he didn’t seem to know that Daichi had left Suga.

As Oikawa walked away, Kuroo pulled Daichi closer and lightly kissed his temple. 

Daichi snorted and nuzzled Kuroo’s neck. “Sap.”

“Shut up, that was fucking awkward.” 

Daichi realized that fate had even more plans as they walked back toward their car and Oikawa happened to be parked only a couple of car spaces over. He caught the tail end of their conversation, Suga practically begging Oikawa not to run from him. Daichi got back into the car with Kuroo and looked up at Suga as he came back to the car. 

“It’s fine, Suga. Chase him. He isn’t past you.” Daichi commented as he glanced back at Oikawa who was watching Suga walk away.

Daichi liked to believe he was a better person and if he and Suga weren’t endgame, that was fine.


End file.
